I'm all for pedicures and bubble baths.
However, if you feel overwhelmed, drained, and at the end of your rope, a bubble bath and pedicure just won't cut it.
You need something more.
You need life imparted to you from the One who was there at Creation, gladly embraced the horrible crucifixion, and conquered death by rising from the dead. This is the same Lord who has pursued you and if you have surrendered to Him, has filled you with His Spirit.
Jesus loves us and offers life. So simple, yet so profound.
If you are feeling overwhelmed, you need life and joy from Jesus. And the Good News is that He longs to love you. He promises that if you are weary and burdened, you can surrender your burdens to Him and He will exchange them for His burdens. I
Isn't that exciting??????
Refreshment comes when we fix our eyes on Jesus and surrender to Him, allowing Him to fill us to overflowing with His grace. What I am going to share with you are some ways to position yourself to receive His grace and fix your eyes on Him.
What a gentle, glorious privilege to be a Mom!
From the moment that little one comes into the world after nine months of preparation that seem so slow and suddenly sped up so quickly, our world is transformed.
Motherhood has a way of shaping and defining us. It reveals the virtues and flaws in our character. It forces us to run to Jesus for help, wisdom, and strength.
I talk to so many mothers who feel discouraged and weary. They long to be perfect mothers and often believe lies about themselves, their children, and their ability to parent.
This article is for every Mom out there who is believing lies.
I want you to STOP believing lies and BELIEVE God's TRUTH!
You see, as Christians, we are in a battle. Goodness vs. Evil. Light vs. Dark. God's Kingdom vs. Satan's Kingdom. Our battles often begin in the mind where we start believing Satan's lies and soon we are immobilized.
Sweet sister in Christ, Jesus has overcome the lies of the enemy! He has defeated Satan! The accuser has been hurled down forever!
With those truths in mind, let's examine some of the lies that have weighed you down and hindered your ability to mother the precious treasures God has given you.
I'm the Wrong Person to Raise this Child
Yes, every Mom has wondered if God made a mistake. Oh, they would never say it like that. They just feel they are not the right person to raise a particular child or all of the children. Maybe the child is brilliant and you are just average in intelligence. Maybe the child is musically gifted and you can't even clap in time with music. Maybe the child is so strong-willed and you are weary from disciplining him. Maybe she is moody and sullen; nothing you do makes her smile.
Whatever the reason, we think someone else would do a better job.
God chose you!
I have two examples from Scripture that I want to share with you: Abraham and Esther.
"Look to Abraham, your father, and to Sarah, who gave you birth. When I called him he was only one man, and I blessed him and made him many" (Isaiah 51:2 NASB).
Abraham was called to be the Father of a great nation, but he and his wife couldn't even have a child. He stood in faith and today his descendants are still a great nation.
Esther was challenged by her uncle when she was afraid that God had a plan for her. "And who knows but that you have come to your royal position for such a time as this?” (Esther 12:14 NASB).
The Lord also chose you to raise this child. Don't look at your circumstances. Look at Jesus. He called you and He will equip you!
I'm Ruining My Kids
All Moms feel this way at some point. They may be struggling with anger or sadness and taking it out on the children. Maybe you are disorganized and keep forgetting to get your children vaccinated like I did. Hey, what's wrong with getting their first vaccine at seven years old, anyway?
The sad truth is that you will blow it and make many mistakes. I started off wanting to be a perfect Mom only to discover that I was full of selfishness and other flaws that hurt my children. It is true that we can harm and hurt our children, but we cannot ruin them because there is someone else in the picture
Here's another truth: It's not all about you. God is bigger than your flaws and shortcomings. He will actually pour out grace in your weakness and turn everything around for good. His grace really is sufficient. Even though you will never be a perfect Mom, you will not ruin your children. Even the hurts can open our child's eyes to see that they need a perfect parent.
In mothering, as we surrender to Him, he will love and train through us. You see, children don't need perfect parents, they need parents who look to Jesus.
"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me" (II Corinthians 12:9 NASB).
I love books.
I have invested money and gobs of time curled up to read a good book.
As a young Mom, the Lord used several books on motherhood to inspire me and reveal His plans in Scripture to mother my children. Several of these books changed my life! They encouraged me to stay the course when times were hard. They refreshed my soul when I felt overwhelmed and gave me practical wisdom that I so desperately needed. The authors felt like friends, older Titus 2 women who were investing in my life.
Now, looking back over the years with sadness that my children are all adults, I find myself being asked for advice. I share things on my heart and then...
Well, I pass on my old friends, these tattered books that have seen better days because I have read them so many times.
I give these books as gifts.
And now I pass them on to you, dear friends. Here are my very favorite books on Motherhood.
As Moms, we, like all Christians around the world, are called to make disciples.
“And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, ‘All authority has been given to Me in heaven and on earth. 19 [Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you [always, even to the end of the age’” (Matthew 28: 18-20 NASB).
Jesus didn’t tell His followers to make converts, but to make disciples that would walk with Him and walk in His ways.
We are to GO. That is active, purposeful.
We are to BAPTIZE. We lead people to Christ and facilitate a born-again experience with God.
We TEACH. We don’t teach just a few things, we teach EVERYTHING Jesus has taught us.
The most important disciples we will ever make are our children.
So how do we impact their young lives for the glory of God?
Living the Christian life boils down to loving Jesus and letting Him love and serve others through us.
This is how Jesus made disciples.
First, Jesus loved His Father and loved the people around Him.
Second, Jesus loved His Father, loved the people around Him, and His disciples were with Him.
Third, the disciples loved the Lord, loved the people around them, and Jesus was with them.
Fourth, Jesus sent the disciples on trial runs to love the Lord and love the people around them.
Love Jesus Wholeheartedly
Flashback to the early 1990s! I was a young mom, interested in homeschooling, who noticed all of these amazing well-behaved children who respect their parents. I wanted children like that!
As time went on, our family thrived with homeschooling. However, my children squabbled with one another. They were not perfect. Sigh.
Comparing Ourselves to Other Families
Over the years, I met so many moms who did so many cool things. I discovered homeschooling children who could compose symphonies, translate Dickens into Latin, and win prizes at debates. My children didn’t want to stand in front of a crowd.
My kids are amazing, smart, funny, … and flawed. Face it. We are just an ordinary family who loves Jesus. And that’s okay. We don’t have to be The Incredibles with Super Powers.
To enjoy and appreciate my children for who they are, I had to ditch comparing them with other children. You see I don’t know what goes on behind the front door of the child who can recite Bible verses in Hebrew or the six-year old who can read Jane Austen, so I will never have the full picture.
I do know this. No family is perfect. Jesus was perfect, but even His family wasn’t.
When I stopped looking at other families and started zeroing in on my own children, I could appreciate their gifts and live with their flaws.
My oldest daughter was a reader and a nurturer. I gave her plenty of books and opportunities to love on her younger siblings and other little ones in church. She quietly served in the nursery and babysat.
Julianna was a strong leader so I provided opportunities for her to manage projects like getting us out the door for a field trip when she was younger and planning the details of our vacation when she got older.
I looked for their strengths and capitalized on them.
Cultivating their strengths became a major focal point for me after I read a business article that said that successful peoples put 70% of their time cultivating their strengths, 25% learning new things, and only 5% of their time overcoming weakness. Wow! I had been really focusing on overcoming all their weaknesses so they could be like the other homeschooled kids I saw around me or maybe like that ideal kids I saw in my mind.
Now, homeschoolers put a lot more time in learning that 25% so I didn’t use this as a formula, but it certainly got me thinking about cultivating strengths which built their confidence, rather than making them feel over and over like they didn’t measure up.
Our hero and heroine receive a treasure map. With great bravery, they set out to cross raging rivers, climb high mountains, slay fierce dragons, and keep their fellow adventurers committed to their noble task. Forsaking comfort, sleep, and disposable income, they live the adventure to seek the treasure of a lifetime.
Who are these heroes? Why you and your spouse, of course.
While you are battling a fire-breathing dragon after a sleepless night awake with a sick child, you can wonder if the treasure is worth it.
Our own adventure began in the late 1980s when home education was still thought of as quirky. We were unlikely treasure hunters with Mike in seminary, barely two nickels to rub together, living in student housing.
With our eyes on the prize, we plunged in. The creator of Sing, Spell, Read, and Write was a professor at Mike’s graduate school so I went to her workshop and purchased the kit. Copying, coloring, and laminating the letter pages, I made a border in our small dining area so that Katie Beth could see them while she ate her breakfast each morning, waiting for her to show interest in those letters.
Meanwhile, we read beautifully illustrated, well-written picture books by the ton, played at the playground, planted a garden, went strawberry picking, made jam, and explored the nearby woods all with baby Julianna in tow. We loved to sing in the car, talk to cows through the window, and make silly animal sounds while we did their peculiar walks.
“Maybe I should read, Mommy,” Katie-Beth urged as I struggled to keep my eyes awake. I was pregnant again and oh so very sleepy. Could I teach Katie-Beth to read and potty train Julianna with a brand new baby?
We faced other challenges like blending the letter sounds while we were learning to read. It just didn’t come quickly for any of my children. Patience was the answer to that dilemma.
We faced the raging river of teaching something I didn’t understand myself. After praying for an idea, I went to the children’s section of the library and checked out books on the topic. After some quick reading, I understood enough to confidently teach a third grader. That came up over and over, until I learned to relax and learn with my children. After all, learning is a grand adventure!
Love is all you need. Love is in the air. Love makes the world go 'round. Love hurts. Love is all I need. Until the twelfth of never, I'll still be loving you.
We hear songs about love our entire life. They shape how we define love. From the songs I've heard in my lifetime, I would have to say, "Love is intoxicating like a drug and when it fades away, life is no longer worth living."
I have also watched a million romantic comedies. From these, I must conclude, "When you really love someone, you fight a lot and misunderstand one another until that magical kiss. Then you live happily ever after.
Oh, I'm so glad that movies and songs are not the only thing that defined my definition of love.
I was blessed to be loved by two wonderful parents, to see a beautiful love between my grandmother and grandfather, and to experience God's love at church, and later personally when I became born again at age 16.
As I grew in the Lord, my definition of love began to change. I no longer believe the definitions I learned from pop songs and chick flicks.
As I studied the Bible, I discovered three Greek words (Eros, Philia, Agape) that are all translated love in the New Testament, yet their meanings are completely different. Let's explore the three loves talked about in the Word of God.
Some children love a tidy room and others...well...hmm. Let's teach children & teens to organize and clean their world in a fun way. Scheduling can be enjoyable, too.
When we organize, clean, or work on schedules, I try to stay lighthearted and make it fun. I always have a treat afterward like watching a movie or going to the park.
You see, these things are not my favorite things so how on earth would I expect it to be my children's favorite things, but they are part of life so I want to do them with a cheerful heart. My children will see things the way I do, so in training children, my attitude is the most important thing.
Also: how well my children clean their room or stay on schedule or organize their things has NOTHING to do with their value. I never want to belittle my children over these things, but I want to lead them from success to success to success.
In my family, there are messies. I won't name them in case you know them or meet them in person. Messies need more training, but they can learn to keep things mostly tidy. Free spirits can learn to stay on a loose schedule. Everyone can learn to clean.
Here are some blog posts and a podcast on organizing:
Smart Storage to Eliminate Clutter
Organizing Your Homeschool
It's a brand-new school year. You want everything to go perfectly.
Oh, and did I mention you have a brand-new baby. A precious bundle of joy that lights up your life. And keeps you awake all night. You are sore and your body is still recovering.
Is that you?
This school year can still be the best ever!
For the beginning of the school year, I recommend delaying the start or modifying it.
School can start a month late and go a month longer, or you can skip most breaks and still have it end on time.
If you have high school and middle school children, have them do the work they can do independently. Have them check in with you two or three times a day and just give you a quick summary of what they've completed.
For younger children, if you must school, focus only on reading and math. Have them read aloud to you and read on their own. If they can do math independently, let them do math and have an older sibling check it. Or dad can check it each night when he gets home.
Then, it's time for movies. So many educational movies and documentaries out there that would be fun to cuddle up and watch. We love the Drive Thru History videos, as well as Dave Barton's government sets. There are so many educational cartoons like Liberty Kids or Peanuts This is America. You can watch a few sessions each day for the first month.
My memories of teaching children to read always include me nursing a baby as I went over letter sounds or blending with them. I worried that I was somehow robbing my children.
Here's what the Lord showed me.
Jenny Rose stopped strumming his guitar and stepped forward to the microphone where she read a Scripture passage and gave a short word of encouragement.
"Some of us have had a rough week, we have been battered by the enemy, tossed around by his lies..." She ended by sharing her own personal experience of how Jesus had encouraged her. She started a worship song and everyone sang along.
I felt tears fill my eyes. My dream as I rocked and nursed my five babies was that they would each grow up to love Jesus and serve Him with a glad heart. Here was my Rosie, loving Jesus.
It is God's grace and mercy alone that all five of my adult children love Jesus. I'm so grateful, especially because I am a flawed Mommy. I wish I was perfect, but alas, no. I do love the Lord and have a living faith inside my heart that has grown stronger and stronger over the years.
It is not an example of perfection I have imparted to my children, it is a living faith in a jar of clay.
Can you relate? Do you love Jesus, but feel that you are so far from being a perfect example of what a "good" Christian should look like?
It's so fun to set a pretty table for a special family celebration or when guests come over.
Some moms set a pretty table every night. I'm more of a "special occasion or guest kind of gal."
Let's talk about the basics of setting a pretty table.
A pretty table starts with a tablecloth or place mats with place settings laid out attractively. A centerpiece adds the perfect festive touch.
Before you set the table, stop and think about the general feel you want to create. Is this casual or fancy? Are you serving a special food? Spaghetti can lend itself to an Italian them with lots of red and green. Are you celebrating a holiday, birthday or special occasion. The birthday girl's favorite colors and flowers or the birthday boy's favorite sports team can lend it self to to choosing style and colors.
Tablecloths & Place Settings
"When will I be loved?" our hearts cry out when we are young.
We seek our one true love, believing that romantic love will fill us with happiness forever. Then we marry someone who isn't perfect and we are still seeking to be loved and appreciated.
If only our parents had loved us more. If only we had better friends. If only we had a boyfriend or girlfriend. If only our children appreciated us.
Why are we always seeking more?
We had a need inside us to be lavishly loved. Our hearts cry out for it.
We long for words, actions, attitudes from others that communicate love, kindness, warmth, and understanding. We long for others to place high value on us.
There is a problem, though. People are flawed. No one loves perfectly. No one can be our all in all.
Have you ever bought a new pair of shoes because you are having a bad day?
Is this the best way to comfort our hearts?
Sometimes we spend money to reward ourselves for a job well done, but more often we spend money frivolously when we are struggling emotionally or just worn out from the cares of life.
Unfortunately, when we spend money we haven't budgeted for, it has to come from somewhere. It may postpone something we are saving for like a new house or family vacation. Or it may add to our growing debt. Then we deepen the frustration or sadness we are struggling with.
Hey, I get it. There's something that feels good about whipping out that credit card to purchase things you don't really need. But, like all quick fixes, the momentary delight soon vanishes.
I think we live in a battle zone. We face real pain, real discouragement. But those things are not our enemy--that's just the result of living in a fallen world.
The real enemies we face our satan and his demons who lie to our hearts and through the world we live in. We are bombarded with lies that buying something will help us feel happy. We spend our money on what is not bread--it will not feed our souls.
God has a different plan.
Employers send their employees to workshops and professionals have to maintain their licenses with continuing education. There's a lesson here!
We, who pour out our lives, need to be filled back up with times of refreshing and equipping. Our spirits need to be refreshed with joy and truth! Our minds and hearts need to be equipped with knowledge, wisdom and understanding to teach the next generation!
First of all, we need to plug into the source!
We need to be plugged into our Source of Life, the Lord Jesus Christ. Meeting with Him daily is worth whatever effort and sacrifice you have to make. He is our Equipper! He trains us to love and teach our children.
Jesus is our model, traveling with his disciples, who constantly asked questions and then just didn't get it. Patiently, Jesus repeated lessons over and over again, using stories and visual illustrations (vines, sheep, and children) to make the lesson clear. Jesus asked lots of questions, causing people to stop and think! Above all, love and compassion flowed from Jesus to his disciples. He was their Father, Teacher, Priest, and Shepherd all in one!
There are additional ways to be equipped to home educate our children that we are going to talk about, but none can replace going to our Creator, Redeemer, Savior, Lord, King, and Friend Jesus.
Teenage rebellion is a myth. Some teens rebel. Some teens don't. Teens that do rebel don't rebel because they are teenagers.
In primitive societies, boys hang out with dad learning to be a man and girls hang out with mom learning to be a woman. They go from child to adult without any drama or angst.
In our nation, until the 1920's, children reached puberty later (usually around 16-18) and got married soon afterward. Again the transition was pretty smooth between childhood and adulthood.
The 1920's was a paradoxical time for America. One of the most frugal Presidents ever sat in the White House vetoing spending bills and bringing down the national debt, while Americans themselves were offered and accepted with glee the brand new "Buy Now, Pay Later" philosophy. The bubble burst, of course, at the end of the decade. However, in the meantime, money was flowing and families were moving to the cities and suburbs from the farms.
Teens had more time on their hands, less hard work to do, and more money to spend. Suddenly, a new thing happened. Young people were living to have fun and play, instead of working hard to help their families and preparing to have their own families.